Predicting Five More ‘ZZ-Types’ WWE Could Sign

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With Zeremiah “ZZ” Loupe reportedly training at the WWE Performance Center, what other ridiculous signings could WWE make? 

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Dear Internet,

Please be wrong. You’re so good at being wrong most of the time. Heck, even half the things I write aren’t factually possible in this universe. But Internet, if you are right this time, then perhaps every 24 hour news channel, fearmonger and bombastic pundit is right: mankind is doomed.

What has caused me to hit the panic button, break the glass and go for the fire extinguisher? According to multiple reports, Tough Enough alumnus Zamariah “ZZ” Loupe, the contestant you loved and hated at the same time, is apparently training at the WWE Performance Center.

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ZZ was known for being an asset in the personality department, but a liability in the training, conditioning, ring work, nutrition, vocal cadence and mental toughness departments.

If indeed this rumor has legs, healthier legs than ZZ’s, the move has wrestling fans everywhere scratching their heads. Why would WWE want a talent who, after a 10-week boot camp, only showed slight improvement? And from ZZ’s point of view, why would he want to be in an environment where he was torn down week after week? At least back in Louisiana, the alligators never judged ZZ or put him in their bottom three for humans they encountered.

Well, one thing is for certain: if WWE can sign ZZ, then let’s find them some other outside-the-box misfits to struggle alongside ZZ, or at least co-star in this saga that has the makings of a straight-to-DVD National Lampoon movie.

Next: Finger Shminger