WWE Royal Rumble 2018: Results, Highlights, Analysis, and Grades

Photo Source: WWE.com

Women’s Royal Rumble Match

Result: Asuka eliminates Nikki Bella to win the 2018 Women’s Royal Rumble Match

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

First off, great call to put this in the main event slot. I saw a bunch of salty takes on the social media timelines about this, but go cry me a river. History, even WWE’s manufactured history – deserves the spotlight. And what major story other than “winner goes to WrestleMania” existed in the men’s match that would have made it more important than the women’s match?

Even before the match got started, I loved Maria Menounos doing the intros, because the WrestleMania veteran is very clearly a smark. She knew the crowd would turn on certain parts of her appearance, and just went with it and acknowledged it all. Absolutely perfect.

Kind of surprised that Sasha and Becky were the first two entrants. I figured they would come in later on, and less favored to win superstars would have kicked things off. But having two of the Four Horsewomen kick things off was a good choice.

Two quick surprise entrants in this one: Lita at #4 and Kairi Sane at #6. And the first eliminations were scored by Lita, as she tossed Mandy Rose and Tamina before being eliminated by Becky Lynch. Sane got a nice pop, but Cole referring to her as having a “yacht character” was infuriating. She’s literally called the Pirate Princess, ya goofball. She got some good stuff in before being unceremoniously dumped out by Dana Brooke, of all people.

The relative smaller size of the women’s roster compared to the men meant a lot more surprise entrants were popping up in this match. At #9, Torrie Wilson made her return. Molly Holly (!) popped up at #12. Michelle McCool entered at #14, and promptly eliminated four superstars.

That was the big problem I had with most of the Women’s Royal Rumble Match. WWE’s over-reliance on the past was rearing its ugly head in this one. One of the biggest knocks on the booking of the past several years is that no new stars are created, and part-timers and legends always go over. And look at the bulk of the eliminations in the first half of the Rumble here – Lita eliminated two, McCool ended up with five, Molly and Torrie eliminated one each. That’s nine of the first twelve – why can’t the current (and even future) stars get in on the action?

More surprises filled the ranks – Vickie Guerrero at #16, Kelly Kelly at #19. Guerrero had a perfect appearance for her character – yelling EXCUSE ME at the top of her lungs, accomplishing nothing, and attacking someone while they weren’t looking. Terrific. And after all these years, Kelly Kelly still has a problem with the ring ropes.

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Becky Lynch getting eliminated was a bit deflating – she was a lot of people’s favorite to win, myself included. Jacqueline entering at #21 made up for it a bit, but Nia Jax going full Diesel helped too. And you had Naomi doing her best Kofi Kingston impression to stave off elimination. No, literally – she landed on the barricade, walked the length of it, used a chair, walked on her hands, and got back up via the ring steps. That’s everything from the Kofi playbook – including the immediate elimination after re-entering the ring.

A few more surprises at #23 and #24, with NXT Women’s Champion Ember Moon and Hall of Famer Beth Phoenix, respectively. Moon was selling her arm injury from TakeOver, but The Glamazon looked like she could still be an active superstar.

Asuka’s entrance at #25 was a turning point for the Rumble, as she continued her NXT feud with Ember Moon – and once again got the upper hand, eliminating the current champion. But the majority of the competitors seemed scared of Asuka – Carmella’s scream as she backed away from the first kick Asuka tried to throw was proof.

The money spot of #27 went to Nikki Bella, who wasted little time in eliminating Ms. Money in the Bank Carmella. #28 was Brie Bella, which sent the Philly crowd into a round of YES chants. Sure, every other woman in the match who has a famous husband had that chanted at her, so why not Brie?

Trish Stratus made her entrance at #30, disappointing the three people who thought Ronda Rousey would fly all the way from Colombia to Philly to fight jet lag in her surprise wrestling debut. Personally, I’m more upset about the lack of the Iconic Duo in the Royal Rumble. What’s going on with Billie Kay and Peyton Royce? At least Trish got to eliminate her frenemy Mickie James.

The story told with Nia Jax was brilliant – several times, Jax went out through the ropes, illustrating just how difficult it would be to get her over the top rope. And it kept taking more and more superstars to join forces and get her up and over – finally taking seven superstars to eliminate her.

Least surprising Rumble development? Sasha Banks turning on Bayley, and heeling it up for the remainder of the match. Sasha going face to face with Trish Stratus was better than I expected it would be, even if it only lasted a few seconds. But much like Iron Man Finn Balor was the MVP of the Men’s Royal Rumble, Sasha was the Iron Woman and MVP of the Women’s Match.

Now, once it came down to Asuka and the Bellas, you knew Asuka was going to win. With the drama gone, it was just a matter of how they were going to reach the end. I don’t think “wrap your leg around the neck of a woman who has serious neck issues” would have been my choice, but that’s what they went with.

So Asuka wins, and she’s got to choose between Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss – but none of that matters because the entire Women’s Revolution got overshadowed by Ronda freaking Rousey. I’ll admit I got worked about the whole “filming in Colombia” thing, but this was still possibly the stupidest thing WWE has done in a long time.

Just how colossally stupid was it? The person everyone assumed would be a surprise entrant in the match was in the building, but not participating in the match. Then while the euphoria of an overall successful first ever Women’s Royal Rumble Match hasn’t even finished setting in, out comes Rousey. She got in the face of Charlotte, offered a handshake to Asuka, then shook Stephanie McMahon’s hand after pointing to the WrestleMania sign. So is she trying to take Asuka’s match away from her? No one could grab a mic and actually say something? OF COURSE NOT, WE NEED TO WATCH RAW TO FIND OUT WHAT’S HAPPENING. All we know is THERE’S BREAKING NEWS ON SOCIAL MEDIA ABOUT THIS SITUATION – which was ESPN announcing Rousey had signed a contract with WWE.

Next: Ranking Every WWE Royal Rumble Winner

Two great Rumble matches highlighted the WWE Royal Rumble 2018, but a couple of wonky finishes and outside the ring stuff kind of brought the show down a bit. What did you think of the Rumble?