The art of NOT saying “I’m sorry” in professional wrestling

Professional wrestling/wrestlers have long pushed boundaries, sometimes too far. Still, saying “I’m sorry” seems anathema to wrestlers and promoters.

Prior to the events of last weekend (Jan. 11-12, 2020), most assumed the past week would be filled with praise for Impact Wrestling and its newly crowned heavyweight champion, Tessa Blanchard, for being the first woman to hold the top championship in a major promotion. However, that is far from the case.

Since many are aware of the allegations against Blanchard, I won’t delve into them here; if you need a recap, please read Kevin Parvizi’s tremendous piece (also, read his piece on the Triple H/Paige situation, which I don’t have space for here). However, in the proceeding days since Parvizi’s piece, more fuel was added to the proverbial fire.

Blanchard tweeted, “I hope everyone takes the time to read this,” on Jan. 16, 2020, accompanied with a statement that read:

Notice anything? There is no “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.” Rather, she cops out with “Racism is not in my heart” line (duh, because it’s a matter of ideology and sociocultural influences), and deflected the blame by arguing she is an ally in the fight against racism.

This didn’t escape the purview of NWA Women’s Champion Allysin Kay (one of the first to push back against Blanchard), who tweeted:

A brief aside: what makes the above statement worse are the numerous athletes who have been called liars or worse for alleging racist actions against them. The best example may be Italian football (soccer) star Mario Balotelli. On numerous occasions, Balotelli has faced racist language, noises, and behaviors from fans (such as throwing a banana on the pitch), and having to defend being Italian.

He has been called a liar or misunderstanding local cultural customs (again, he is also Italian), and that he can never be fully Italian. These athletes are basically being told your experiences are wrong because they don’t match the vision we have of ourselves, and that no matter what, you can never truly be one of us because you don’t look like us. How asinine is that?

Back to wrestling: while Cameron Hawkins and I had a brief discussion the morning of Hard to Kill as to how easy it is to say, “I’m sorry. Let me show you how I’ve changed,” or something similar, Blanchard is only repeating the same playbook seen many times in professional wrestling: DON’T say “I’m sorry.”

It’s not surprising at all that a wrestler failed to apologize for incendiary/ignorant/hurtful actions and comments, particularly those who occupy the most privileged identities (mainly, being White). Hulk Hogan’s “apology” to the locker room after his gratuitous use of the n-word and other racist comments emerged was met with skepticism, particularly because he seemed to focus more on the chances of being recorded rather than not being racist.

The latter point is humorous only in its absurdity since Hogan admitted on the same recording with him using the n-word that he’s racist “to a point.”

The previous decade came to a close on the heels of Jim Cornette’s refusal to apologize for making a racist starvation joke and NWA failing to edit the clip out before airing, which was beautifully covered by Hawkins, speaking to a larger systemic and cultural issue in NWA.

Randy Orton said the n-word during a livestream while he was playing Call of Duty and Orton hasn’t apologized while still occupying the upper mid-card on RAW. Then again, why would he apologize since Vince McMahon never faced repercussions or apologized for saying the n-word on LIVE TV. T

o be fair, McMahon has never really apologized for any of the racist, misogynistic, and homo/transphobic things that happen within his company and on TV (anyone remember the lawn mower riding Mexicools, for example?).

Professional wrestling seems to live by the idiom, “Any publicity is good publicity.” While Blanchard winning was still momentous, much of that was halted and subdued because of the allegations and her refusal to truly address said allegations (not to mention the lack of women who celebrated with her in the ring). After all, it isn’t very hard to say, “I’m sorry for my actions/language.” However, are there cases where saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t suffice? Even if there is an apology, what constitutes a “good” apology? Some examples of wrestlers actually apologizing may help.

Lars Sullivan, while a brief apology, released a statement through WWE after posts on a bodybuilding website resurfaced where he used racist, sexist, and homophobic language. He didn’t try to deflect responsibility, and while he did use the “if you were offended” line, he also said his remarks were inexcusable.

In my book, however, “if you were offended” places this below what I would call a “good” apology. The next two examples, though, seem to be the best in recent pro wrestling, both from AEW wrestlers.

AEW Tag Champion and member of SCU Scorpio Sky is a good example of a wrestler recently accepting responsibility and truly apologizing for their past actions/language. Earlier in the decade, Sky tweeted several times with the epithet “f****t,” which came to the attention of AEW wrestlers Nyla Rose and Sonny Kiss after fans resurfaced Sky’s tweets (Rose is a transgender woman of color, and Kiss is a gay Black man).

Sky said he reached out to them directly to apologize, but also discussed the situation saying he’s not just an idiot for saying the word publicly, but for saying the word at all. Sure, he waited until the tweets resurfaced to apologize, but he didn’t hesitate and gave a heartfelt and true apology, even using his platform to advocate for change.

Speaking of Rose, she apologized after responding to a transphobic tweet directed at her by insinuating the tweeter had been sexually assaulted as child by their father. After receiving backlash, Rose said she tries to grow and be better everyday.

Further, near the end of her statement, she stated, “I replied in frustration and anger and didn’t consider the people that it could affect and hurt. For that I am truly sorry.” There was no “if you were offended,” and she sincerely apologized.

While most wrestlers are loathe to admit their wrongdoing, at least a few have taken responsibility and accountability. However, the biggest barrier may just be that people find it difficult to find fault with themselves, and we clearly see that Blanchard, Hogan, McMahon, and others find little fault in their actions.

Even if Blanchard gives a genuine, contrite, heartfelt apology, I don’t believe that will be enough considering the amount of doubling-down and deflecting of blame she engaged in to defend herself. By the tenor of her statements, it seems she doesn’t see any issues with her actions and language. After all, as Hawkins stated, “You gotta think you messed up to say you messed up.”