6 Ways Daniel Bryan Can Now Spend His Time


What should Daniel Bryan do next now that he is retired from wrestling?

As wrestling fans everywhere are out shopping for more Kleenexes following Daniel Bryan’s retirement speech, we can now ask what is next for the ultimate underdog.

1) Calling Matches with Josie

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With all the flak the commentary team has been taking over the years, sometimes a change is needed. Now with all this extra time Daniel Bryan, and his dog Josie, can be that change. What if WWE released a greatest matches compilation and as an alternate commentary track, you would hear Daniel giving his thoughts and Josie occasionally barking. This may be the only way a female could join the broadcast team. We could also double-down on animals and have Daniel talk as Josie and he can be paired with Natalya talking as one of her 27 cats.

2) Coming to MTV: “That’s What She Said”

This may just end up on WWE Network, but why not shoot for MTV. Bryan could host this short-form, sexually-themed game show where movies, television shows, wrestling matches or even everyday conversations could be shown and then paused when the contestant chimes in with a “that’s what she said.” It could be so stupid that it would either last one episode or 12 years. But usually, the better it is, the longer it lasts—that’s what she said.

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There can also be a spinoff called, “My Wife Is Hotter Than Your Wife,” where Daniel and Brie bring in another couple, Daniel says, ‘My wife is hotter than your wife,’ and then the defeated guest couple leaves.

3) Spokesperson for Eastern Mountain Sports

For people on the east coast who ever had to get ready for sleepaway camp, camping trips or safari, this was always a premier destination for getting the right garb. Going off of Daniel Bryan’s new haircut, trimmed beard, and plaid attire, this man is a nature-based multimedia campaign waiting to happen. And if EMS isn’t on board, then the outdoor channel should scoop him up for a travel/nature show. Speaking of which…

4) Teacher vs. Pupil

Daniel Bryan may have never had a match with Shawn Michaels, but what if their showdown came in the form of a genuine animal rights fight on TV. Daniel Bryan hates senseless killing, HBK loves giving animals Sweet Chin Music with his gun. What if the Outdoor Channel (there is one, I checked), brought back Shawn Michaels’ hunting show only for Daniel Bryan to sabotage Michaels and protect the game from him. The show would be tense yet awkward. Perhaps a compromise could be worked out: both Michaels and Bryan shoot Dick Cheney and the safari dentist who took down Leo the Lion.

5) Cops: Daniel Bryan Edition

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He stopped burglars at his own home. Now he’s coming to your neighborhood. Daniel Bryan trails the local police and when criminals make a run for it, Daniel Bryan is there with a flying knee and a submission maneuver to make sure justice is served. In fact, forget Cops: Daniel Bryan Edition. It’s now COPS: BEARD JUSTICE.

6) Wrestle With a Helmet

While we know his wrestling days are behind him, I wonder if the idea was ever thrown out about if Bryan could compete with a protective helmet and padding—and we don’t mean a Shockmaster helmet. This would be the equivalent of a baseball player who now has an extension to his batting helmet after being hit in the face with a baseball, like the Miami Marlins’ Giancarlo Stanton. Daniel Bryan in a helmet could have been a revelation. Helmet merch sales would have been huge and the heat generated from ripping it off would be nuclear. Imagine Kevin Owens ripping it off and then kayfabe stomping on Bryan’s head. Please tell me this entire ordeal has all just been the best work ever!

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How do you think Daniel Bryan should be spending his time now?