WWE Raw: Biggest Losers; Bray Wyatt Loses to Literally Everybody
By Bryan Heaton
John Cena
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a dang minute. John Cena? Loser? What is this blasphemy? After all, Cena was victorious against The Miz, avoiding entering the Elimination Chamber first. And good guy John did the good guy thing to greet a fan with special needs at ringside. How on earth can I possibly call this guy a loser?
Easy: He’s whining for no good reason, it’s annoying, and it makes him seem like a real jerk.
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Cena came down to the ring crying about WrestleMania. We’re drawing closer to the big event, and he doesn’t have any kind of big match lined up. He wants to make history with a record-breaking world championship victory – but he failed to win the Royal Rumble. Now, winning the Elimination Chamber is his “last chance on the Road to WrestleMania.”
Oh, god, just stop.
Does anyone for a second believe that a healthy John Cena will miss WrestleMania? For that matter, do we think WWE is going to have Cena do anything at WrestleMania that isn’t hugely important in some way, shape, or form? He wasn’t on the card for WrestleMania 32, I’ll grant you that. But remember – he was hurt prior to the event, his appearance was a one-off until he was healthy by Memorial Day, and he showed up in the same segment as The Rock.
In 2018, Cena is healthy. He’ll be on the show. He may not face Brock Lesnar, or AJ Styles. Maybe he’ll face the Undertaker after hinting at it very heavy handedly on Raw. Maybe he’ll win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Or, maybe he’ll beat Asuka to end her undefeated streak because LOLCenaWins. I don’t know.
What I do know, though, is that whining about possibly missing out on the biggest show of the year when you’re still one of the biggest stars in the company – possibly the biggest star in the main stream, with Ronda Rousey close on his heels – makes you look like a goober. So maybe let’s dial things back a bit, John. You’ll be fine, ya big baby.
Next: Top 5 Segments, WWE Raw Feb. 12
Who do you think is in a funk after this week’s episode of WWE Raw?